A Dehydrated Heart

These blank pages stare

at me, begging to be let in.
Express— pent up emotions

I fear may have disappeared
into the atmosphere
inside my—

The uncertainty, did I let
this pain go, does it rage
inside; slowly it grows

while I hold the smile
of a statues face,

believing everything
is okay till the day
these emotional dams break,
suddenly finding my lost

self, my vulnerable side;
seeing the unhappiness
that persists.

Thousands of pictures, snapshots
of my broken heart, though now
my heart is only lost to the dark
abyss I’ve let grow so deeply.

Gone…

Though I’ve wondered why
I could not love. Thought
it was you all this time.

In reality, the problem
was solely mine.

I couldn’t let you inside,
see my battle wounds.
I’d lost the key to unlock
scenes I’d forced to die.

I have been blind
to the face in the mirror,
my lying eyes that refuse
to cry. Why. I realize

when the water of love
stopped pouring my drink,

I think…

I fell thirsty and dead— even my lotuses wept.

Trying to find something
deep, a buried vision I chose
to lose. My only buried
visions are pictures of

         

            You.