My Heart Knows Dates (17 Months in Healing)

I sit amongst a burning flame, remembering
how you are the only one to have seen
my bare skin by candlelight, the way my hair
would fall and I’d smile at you with love.

Remembering moments of joy between
us two undeniable lovers that were meant

to one day break, leaving scars and memories

like the smoke rising from those burnt
out wicks after they had been blown out
by your sweet, sweet breath. I remember

the nights by moonlight, where fireworks
lit up the August sky and you held me,
promising it’d be better this time. I

believed and you tried. We walked
down paths just for the sake of walking,
exploring and seeing where dead end

streets may lead—to broken hearts we’d see.
I remember your face in the night, how you

seemed to light up my lonely life. Yes, you

were once my white knight and I’d
come to you to cry, back when I could
shed a tear and feel. Those days revealed

a softer side to me; a side I may never
again see. We’re too broken now
from one another’s love to believe

another love is waiting for me.

You are but a distant memory, coming
to life only in the night when I wonder
if you’re thinking of me in this moment too;

Wondering if our love was really through,
what might happen if I spoke to you, or
you read this poem one day and saw

my undying pain that I cannot love.
My heart stays dormant, beating slowly,
waiting for something to blow out this flame.